Food! Again.

Comments can now be made by anyone. In fact, I somehow had comments disabled without realizing it. That's fixed now.

I've been getting questions about what I and dancers do eat since we have this alleged ability to 'eat whatever'. Here's an example of what you could have found in my shopping cart back when I was dancing at the professional level. I sometimes say that or dancing professionally, just because it's easier. And yes, though I have danced with different ballet companies often, it was never on stage, and I was never paid for it. So in that being a paid professinal sense, I am and never was a professional dancer. However in terms of being able to dance at the same technical level of those on stage yes.

When I was dancing a lot, I was also working out for an hour or more each day, which often didn't leave much time for eating. More on actual meals later. The meals a dancer eats when she's at the studio all day differ greatly than what she can eat at home.

So, my shopping cart for a week would include the following:
Eggs
Butter
Parsley
Lemons
Almond butter
Soy milk or if regular milk only organic and only whole milk
full fat yogurt
full fat cottage cheese
2 bags of apricots (favorite fruit)
bananas
fresh or frozen spinach
leeks
carrots
clover sprouts
tofu
black beans
bread
tortillas


You get the idea, basically anything and everything that you find in the produce aisle, fresh or frozen if need be. Foods with high calcium content such as parsley and leeks and if you are eating spinach because it has both a high iron content and calcium content you must sprinkle it with lemon juice to help break down the iron in the food, or the calcium with not be absorbed into the body. I do that with every 'high calcium' veggie, just to be on the safe side. Absolutely nothing with high fructose corn syrup, and nothing that is ever marked as low fat. Especially milk. A dancer whose father was a dairy farmer educated us all on why you should buy only organic or only full fat milk- especially if you have to buy non-organic buy full fat, whole milk. You notice there is no soda and no coffee.

Up next will be what you'd find in my cart if I'm having a bad day, and what I'd consider to be a more 'normal' grocery run now. Keeping in mind that the above is how a dancer normally eats, which is why they can eat 'so much junk' on occasion and get away with it, for the most part.

Read more...

Food!

When I was of baby-sitting age, I would offer parents the option to pay me with money, or not pay me, but I'd be able to eat their food. New 'clients' often thought, ooh, bargain! and said sure, eat all you want-assuming, hey this kid's a twig and a dancer, what's she gonna do, eat us out of carrots sticks?

I almost felt sorry for them, but not sorry enough to keep from raiding their refrigerators. What the parents thought they'd be saving...well let's just say,they soon realized it was MUCH cheaper just to pay the usual going rate. One evening coming home to a half empty refrigerator, or missing all their junk food was usually enough to convince them that I could eat more than they could afford. And there's a simple reason for that: Dancers can out-eat anyone.

Ballet girls eat like teenage boys. Or like The Very Hungry Caterpillar. They eat. A lot. Granted, most ballet students, and professional dancers are the size of tiny birds. But have you ever seen a small creature like a bird eat? They almost never stop eating.

If a dancer for some reason is expected to stick to the three meal a day thing, or has been unable to eat for a while- watch out. As Agnes De Mille once said about dancers at a dinner party, "Why didn't you get more food? These are dancers, not normal people! Give them more food, or they'll eat the patterns off the plates!"

It's true. The dancing body needs to be fed, often. Dancers are ravenous, and if they are hungry things can get ugly. Ask a ballet student what they're thinking about at any given moment and the answer will either be dance or food. Usually food.

Read more...

Food and Ballet

There are many truths that are hidden in the ballet world. One is that yes, dancers have eating disorders of one kind or another at some point in their dancing career. If you hear a ballerina say, "Oh no, dancers need to eat to be strong," feel free to believe your gut because that dancer is lying to you. It's a practiced lie. What you say when someone asks "Do dancers have eating disorders?" is, "Oh no! Strength is much too important. You need to be able to be strong to dance well, and if you don't eat well you're not strong. Dancers know better than to eat poorly."
All very true. But for the truth that is left out- Dancers still have eating disorders. It's right up there with the pointe shoe lie, "Pointe shoes don't hurt, if you have properly fitting shoes." LIE. They still hurt.

Things are changing in the ballet world in regard to diet, so the young dancers coming up aren't as likely to have a bad relationship with food. Still, when you combine the physical demands of dance with girl's already very present awareness of body image? It's a recipe for disaster for many.

Often a teacher can tell their students time and again how important it is that they eat well, and make no mention of body image or weight, yet a dancer will look at herself and decide if she were thinner, she might dance better. In my day this was what you were told in no uncertain terms by your teachers. Eat less, dance better. Fortunately today most teachers tell their students the truth, "It's not weight that keeps you from dancing well, it is strength." Regardless, some girls will still take matters into their own hands, and what starts out as a diet can quickly spiral out of control, especially when a student or dancer feels that all they have control over is what they eat.

Eating disorders begin with food, but truly are a self-damaging behavior aimed at maintaining control over one's life. This method of control, trying to fix a much deeper problem, will leave the sufferer so malnurished that their brain no longer functions well enough for them to even think clearly. They have no idea what they are saying or doing. Much like someone with a high fever, they are no longer 'right in the head'.

The good news is that for most dancers, eating disorders are a fleeting affair. Unlike the average woman or girl with an eating disorder who is still able to go about their daily life, dancers are often able to realize how their actions are destroying their ability to dance, and this is what usually helps to snap them out of it. Although it can take years to be able to recover fully. There is another thing that tends to keep most dancers eating disorders at bay- dancers LOVE to eat!

But that truth of the ballet world will need it's own blog post.

Read more...

Miss Hillary's Other Job

Imagine, if you can, having to go to work every day at a job that you HATE. Imagine that this job keeps you from doing the only thing you love in life. Now on top of all that, imagine that at this job, you are in fear for your life every day. You go into work not knowing if nothing will happen, or if you'll end up in the hospital or worse. And you are alone with over 30 people bigger and stronger than you, and you wonder which one of them might want to do you in.

That is what substitute teaching is to me. Every. Single. Day. I chose it after being a 'regular' school teacher, as the schedule works well with dancing- I don't have to grade homework or make lesson plans anymore. I didn't know then that substitutes are more likely to be attacked.


The only thing that got me through to obtaining my Education degree in college was my desire to open a ballet school. Which proves how much I really, REALLY love dance. I nearly had myself killed for it.

My first day as a student teacher I was attacked. But that wasn't the worst part of that day. It was hearing that the attack was my fault. If I had been more likeable, or my lesson had been about a more interesting subject the boy wouldn't have done what he did.
What he did was try to bludgeon me through the head.

All the fights I'd broken up, all the kids with guns and weapons and very real threats they all blend together. Except for that 80 student riot in my high school classroom when I was subbing English. That stands out.

During the riot, I put up a facade of extreme boredom, as if I couldn't be bothered. Never appearing upset is vital.It kept me safe, for a while, as the crazy students didn't think I was afraid of them. Eventually I let aggravation show. But never, ever fear.

The fear dissipates after I'm in the school for a while- usually. Unless something happens in the class. Otherwise I'm just aggravated and appalled by student's behavior. It passes the time.

I don't know if I blocked out other attacks, but something in my gut says oh yes, yes indeed. However, one is enough. One is more than enough. And it wasn't that bad, compared to what happens to other teachers. And how HORRIBLE is that? Comparing student attacks? What planet is this? When I was in school, you wouldn't have DARED to even say the word no to your teacher, let alone....

The first attack, all my superiors telling me it was my fault,realizing that I could not report any other attacks because it would make ME look bad....the sheer insanity and danger of it all has taken it's toll. Even going into a good school in the suburbs now I am afraid.

All these years I was thinking I was just being a sissy, and it's my own fault for being afraid, and it's my own fault if the kids act up and-

None of that is true.

One of the many reasons teaching dance is better than teaching school: I never have to worry that my students are going to kill me. Or even curse me out or be rude. Because I'm able to not tolerate it. I have the power to kick kids out and discipline them, something even a regular teacher at a school isn't allowed to do. Last time I checked detentions were found to be 'demoralizing'. The sad thing is ALL the school teachers know exactly what needs to be done in the schools and classrooms to keep this atrocious behavior from occurring- they're just not allowed to do it. I loved having my hands tied as a teacher. Oh wait, no I didn't. One of the reasons I left.

Read more...

Be quiet, or I'll make it worse. And by the way, you're fat.

Yes, a lot of dance injuries come from bad training. But other injuries come from a teacher's specific training methods, and an ingrained belief that recognizing pain means weakness.

When I teach classes, I often smile watching the children, because as wonderful as they look now, or how much they are enjoying a particular movement sequence- I know what comes next, how excited they'll be when they reach the next level and are able to do new things. And as I teach them I occasionally marvel at the idea that I could ever teach the way some of my teachers did. It's like those old 80's dance movies, and some of the 90's ones. Those scenes didn't develop out of nothing- they're based in a sad truth of the dance world. A truth that thankfully isn't encountered as much today, but nonetheless is what many dancer teachers, myself included grew up with.

I was in physical therapy the other day having my leg stretched past it's own thresh-hold. Part of me wanted to tell the person to stop, but I kept silent. My ballet training somehow got ahold of my common sense. Ballet training dictated that I remain silent, that the pain would last only a certain amount of time then stop. But what if it got worse and the muscle snapped? Be strong, keep your mouth shut. It will be over soon, and you'll recover, my training told me.
I obeyed my old training, and the muscle snapped. That's when I said ow. I silently kicked myself for not listening to my common sense instead.

I used to be stretched by my teachers, and was well trained to keep my pain to myself. Just one lesson was effective enough to drill in that point.

I was standing in arabesque at the barre, with my leg at about a 120 degree angle in the air. My teacher came up behind me and pulled my leg higher. Past where it wanted to go. I said ow, quietly under my breath. The teacher heard me, and where they'd been content to keep my leg where they'd lifted it to, quickly pushed it up to 160 degree angle. I felt muscles tear, but I knew better than to cry, or I'd end up with a worse punishment. The lesson? "That's what you get. If you'd kept your mouth shut I wouldn't have had to do that. You have to learn to take pain, or you'll never make it on stage."

That point was well understood in the dance world I grew up in. We'd watched as a girl red-faced with pain would silently have her body contorted pulled and pushed past it's limits, our faces reflecting silent pain at her torment, but equally glad it was not happening to us this time. This happened time and time again, in school after school I danced in, even at the college level. Working on our 'pain thresh-holds' was one thing my teachers seemed to love. Another was the steadfast answer to any dance difficulty- you're too fat. Oh, I could write a novel on that one.

And that solution worked about as well on us dancers as the "be quiet or I'll make it worse" idea. The point? I am so glad I learned from my worst teachers to NOT be like them, and to succeed in spite of them. And with my own school I am able to definitely say that you don't need to hit, shout at, belittle or physically abuse your students to create good, strong dancers.

Read more...

Old School Ballet is Still Crippling Today

Going back and forth to doctors and physical therapists has reminded me a lot of when I was a dancer, and thus why it was that I created my specific way of teaching.

Getting professional training, I was injured a lot. And so were many of my peers.
Seeing my friends drop like flies, promising careers shattered, with injury after injury I often asked myself if there was an underlying reason to ending up so horrifically injured, with problems that most people don't encounter until old age. The more I became injured the more often I questioned aloud if something wasn't wrong with the teaching methods. I had the nerve to ask my own teachers this. The concensus was always the same, there is nothing wrong with how dance is taught. If you're injured there is something wrong with you."

And indeed the general school of thought is that if a dancer is often injured they weren't 'made for dance'. To some degree that is true, but I never believed that could be the whole truth.

As a professional level dancer, I've been to beginning ballet classes taught by directors of major ballet schools (the ones who are supposed to know the most about how to teach ballet) and have been witness to and victim to the very same dangerous teaching methods- leaving me wondering if this is how they treat their beginning adult students, how much worse off are the young children? For those wondering what I'm doing in a beginning ballet class-when an adult dancer is injured in body or spirit, you can often find them in a beginning level class.


In college, I began to actively seek out answers. When speaking to specialists at the Harkness Center for Dance in New York City, I was finally successful. It turned out, I was right to question all those years. I was right to think that there was something wrong with the teaching method itself, the time table of instruction. I learned that many steps are taught years too soon- resulting in the weaking or damage that eventually leads to severe injury in the older dancer, when the body is being asked to support more weight, ask to do more advanced steps. Too many classes, or not paying attention to student's physical changes can also lead to injury.

Though no studies have been done on dancers (lack of funding or interest) these doctors had seen enough of the same injuries to know what they were talking about. And everything they said I could match in my own memory, or experience, having many of the injuries myself.

I took what I'd learned, and used it as the backbone to create my own dance program. With the information I'd gleaned from these specialists, I had a clear time line of what should be taught when. And it was so clear. What I couldn't understand was why I was the only one questioning. If these injuries didn't have to happen, if the adage "dancers are always injured" didn't have to be true- if there was something better available, why didn't anyone take advantage of it? Why didn't anyone else think that getting so many injuries was wrong? And if the information on how to prevent these injuries is out there why am I the only one utilizing it?

Of the doctors I spoke to, all asked that I not mention them or ask that they endorse my training method- though they whole heartedly agreed with it and wished other teachers would employ such training overhauls. They asked this of me because each one of them was already affiliated with a major ballet company or a major school. To then endorse my training methods, which in essense is a condemation of how every other ballet school is run-well, how could a doctor back a 'safe' method of training, and also back another ballet school?

It's a big thing when you take on the ballet world and call it wrong. But if the directors of ballet schools care to do the work that I did, to question doctors, they'd soon find out just as I did that the current method of ballet instruction is wrong. There are steps being taught to four year olds that shouldn't be taught until the age of 13. There are things girls shouldn't be doing until after puberty- and I'm not talking about pointe shoes.

The research I did was almost ten years ago. I thought that surely by now I would not be the only person employing this kind of 'new ballet'. But I am. The rest of the dance world, apparently is still teaching "Old School Ballet". And as I see class after class of young students still performing the steps that doctor after doctor has told me to be dangerous and damaging I am frightened. The local competition sees my ballet school as a threat, because how I teach my students not only flies in the face of convention, but tells every other ballet institution that they are wrong. The truth hurts sometimes. Instead of embracing change for the sake of their children, dance schools around me seem to be running like hell. But is it a big deal. To do what I've done takes guts. And for major ballet schools to do what I have done from the inception of my school, they would have to gut their entire program, say that they were wrong. "What we've been teaching to your four year old really shouldn't be taught until she's fourteen or so. Oops."

With any luck, someday at least one other ballet school in the country will also swallow their pride, turn their back on a lot of their training, and do the right thing.

Read more...

So worth it

Have really messed up my pelvis and all ajoining tendons, muscles and ligaments. Between taking pain meds, icing my hoo-ha, sleeping and being on general bed rest...it's given me a lot of time to think. ANd eat. So I combined the two in an email to an old ballet teacher of mine. A man from China who 'taught' me when I was dancing professionally/taking class with various ballet companies. To put it the least graphically, since this was "old school ballet" he could and did get away with just about anything. In old school ballet any sort of treatment of your students is acceptable, even if they are legal adults. Ballerinas are well known for being children. And as well known as I am for not putting up with garbage, I put up with him because in that time and place that was what you did. You did whatever it took to succeed, did whatever you were told, no matter how dangerous or painful it might be.

There used to be a joke about ballet teachers, probably more true than funny: "If you get fired from being a school teacher because you mis-treat your students, or if you hate kids, love to scream at them, make them cry and call them fat- we'll take you! Come, fit in and be welcomed into the world of Ballet!"

Guess you had to be there. It's not really funny anymore. BUT, I emailed my teacher and told him that since being in his classes with the company I've gained about 30 pounds. And that now, being injured and unable to dance or exercise, I've likely gained more- adding that even a 'normal' person thought I was getting 'chunky'.

He hasn't gotten back to me. I think he may have had a heart-attack after reading my email. I know it's wrong and evil, and could be the pain meds I'm on, but the image in my brain of this happening just makes me laugh. Yeah, I can just see it now.. "Oh my god! Hen-a-ry! (Being Chinese, he apparently couldn't pronounce i's or l's) Was fat before! Did not think could get more fat! 30 pounds! Ack!" Then he just grabs his chest and keels over. Serves him right. He was always complaining to me about my weight, among other things.

Read more...

Ballet Is Expensive

Of course, when you compare it to other indulgences, treating your body to dance classes comes out about the same or cheaper.

However, if anyone says that ballet isn't expensive, they are either crazy, or flat out lying.

As a dance teacher I have the responsibility to continue my own education, which includes continuing to dance on a regular basis. Working 130 hours a week this past year, I've clearly skipped that responsibility. However I'm now making it a priority and I'm reminded that ballet is EXPENSIVE. (Especially when you're an adult and can't enroll in a set (cheaper) program) Even though as a studio owner I now know exactly why prices are set as they are, every single little detail that I'm paying for; it's still expensive. Sure, I'm empathetic,but ballet is expensive. And when it comes down to it, ballet should be because you're paying for someone to train you in a physical activity, one that can be dangerous without the proper care, even though the ones training you are taking home about as much as a first year school teacher. No one in the arts is in it for the money. But sadly with the prices charged to 'arts education venues', they have to set their prices accordingly.

Ballet is definitely a world of "you get what you pay for",but sometimes the buyer has no idea what they are paying for. There are local dance schools whose prices are right up there with my own studio (not cheap) whose training I have seen and experienced first-hand and it is atrocious. It's the kind of training that will send a child to the ER or render them unable to dance or even walk without pain, and I've seen it happen. But because the price is high, it's assumed that the quality is high. Unfortunately for one particular dance institution, that is not the case at all.

Though popular and expensive, I still have parents whose child is enrolled at this particular institution calling me to see if I can take their child on as a student because they get so many injuries or are so unhappy with their classmates or teacher. Sadly when I audition their child who is, for example, at a level 10 at their school, due to their often dangerous technique I have to place them at a level 4 or 6. I do this so that I can re-train the child to use their body safely and without injury. Unfortunately, this is often too discouraging, and they opt to stay where they're at. A place where they can feel that they are at a high level and accomplished- though injured. And this is true across the board all over the country. Children get poor training, and parents are livid when they learn that they've been paying good money for poor training. Though this is usually more true for the less expensive dance centers.

As a general rule however, the higher the cost the better the training. If you spend less for your child's dance classes, you'll make up for it in doctor's bills. However, for the parent who is not trained in dance or who does not know what to look for, other parent recommendations are good, as well as finding out how often students are injured. A sneaky way is to call local sports medicine centers or orthopedic surgeons. If they see a lot of professional dancers- that's good. If they see a lot of students from a particular school- that's bad. It may not always indicate poor training on the part of the dance school, but it is a definite red flag.

Bringing this long entry back around, when I've been in business long enough to have advanced level classes (max of 10 classes a week), I would hope that I can charge no more than $400 a month. Which is not cheap, but it is a lot cheaper than it could be. Many schools want advanced students in lessons for 20 hours a week or more. I find that excessive and unnecessary. Yes, professional dancers do dance that much and more. However, they are getting paid to dance that much, which makes it a lot easier. It's not necessary to give a young student that same schedule. If they are accepted into a company, they will adjust. Otherwise, the parent of the student will be paying upwards of $800 a month. I know, I know. Ballet is expensive. But come on. If I couldn't imagine shelling out that much money, I wouldn't expect my studio parents to.

That being said, it will still cause me physical pain to hand over the amount of money I will need to in order to take ballet classes myself. Since there is little or nothing in Milwaukee for adults,I have to take the majority of my classes in Chicago. But I do this because in the end it will be worth it.I'll just keep telling myself that.

Read more...

Going Places

As I'm working on finalizing a new dance space in New Berlin, I've been keeping distance in mind. Distance and commitment. Distance is often a metaphor for commitment in the ballet world. How far are you willing to go? How far will you push yourself? How much are you willing to commit to this? If someone wants a career as a ballerina they will have to commit personally to it, and give it everything they have, taking class every day at least once a day. The student who wants dance as a career whether behind the scenes, as a teacher, or in some other venue such as to be on Broadway, they may not need to commit as strongly, but should still be in classes multiple times per week. A once a week dancer will no doubt derive the physical benefits and joy of dance, but a once a week dancer will rarely if ever be able to enjoy a dance career. All of this of course for the child means that their parent(s) must also commit. There are sacrifices on both sides.

On the subject of literal distance, when I was a young dancer, no one, not child or parent thought anything of driving a sizeable distance to get to a dance school. There were and still are so few quality dance institutions that driving a distance was imperative. The idea of today's world where no one wants to drive more than a mile away is almost laughable to me, although I do understand the time commitment of the parents who are doing the driving, juggling work, home and other children. Of course when I was a child, how far my mother had to drive to get me to class was of no consequence. However, when I was old enough to drive myself I saw that it was a lot less fun, and indeed required a commitment- not to mention extra gas money. Still, I often drove an hour or more to get to a good dance class. And, I know that's not the furthest dancers have gone. As a student, I knew a girl who drove all the way from Ohio to be able to continue taking classes with my teacher in Milwaukee! She would drive 5 hours each way. I knew another dancer who would fly from Milwaukee to New York City each weekend. And I would fly out to Manhattan myself several times a year to take class while still in college. Of course, as a broke college student and artist (amazingly more broke than the average college student), these extravagant dance trips lasted only as long as my credit card would withstand.

I've chosen New Berlin for a specific reason- it's not TOO far away. I've gotten lazier in my old age; I don't want to drive too far from home to teach dance. To my amazement I've learned that teaching dance can be more tiring than taking class ever was. That still amazes and confuses me. I'm supposed to tire the children out, not the other way around.

Read more...

Holding onto Door Knobs and Running for the Subway

I officially began taking my first ballet classes when I was four years old. I'd never seen ballet in my life, it meant nothing to me. I didn't know that ballet meant pointe shoes and dancing and music, I just knew it was something that took me away from swinging on swings, climbing trees and hanging upside down from the monkey bars. And so, I soon decided that I hated it. I recall hanging onto the house door knob in an attempt to keep from being taken to class. That was the first and last time I did that.

There are ages when drop-out rates in ballet classes are high. At age five, after a year of pre-ballet, many parents consider that their child has 'tried it' and won't get much more out of it. At age 9, after the first year of 'real ballet' as the child discovers that ballet isn't as easy as it once was, and that they are far from being able to do what 'the ballerinas do'. At age 13, when students have completed their first year of pointe, having decided that they've now reached the limit of ballet accomplishments, and at age 15 when girls decide that boys and parties are more important than dance class.

There are times when students just don't know what's around the corner, and seeing no immediate gratification they simply want to quit. In today's drive-thru- google, get it now world, many children are simply not used to having to wait for anything- learned patience means nothing to them because they never learned patience, period. Or being used to having everything handed to them, they don't like that they have to work to move up to the next class level. Ballet for children today can be very difficult for those very reasons, but it's for those reasons that ballet can be good for children.

As a ballet student, I took ballet class because I had to. Most likely deriving little or no joy out of it because I was a stubborn pain in the backside, and because I had never been exposed to what these exercises and classes could lead to. This is why I try to expose even my youngest students to what real dancing looks like so that they can see an end result.

There are times when I will advocate that a disinterested child try class for one more year (for younger students) or three more months (for older students) to see if anything changes for them. Usually the answer is yes, students finally begin to see the results of the hard work they've been doing, or are exposed to more challenging work. However if the child still hates class, they shouldn't be forced to continue. (This is why it's always best for new students to 'try out' dance in the summer- there is much less of a commitment)

It's not unusual for students to dislike ballet at first, then grow to love it. It's also not unusual for them to quit.

At age five I knew I wanted to quit ballet, and spent subsequent years hating it. If you'd told my five or 13 year old self that I would eventually be happily running to catch the subway in New York for morning ballet class, or dancing with the Milwaukee Ballet,I don't think I'd have believed it. I was finally allowed to quit ballet when I was 13, and was never happier. Until classes started up in the fall- I couldn't get back fast enough!

It's also not unusual for students to drop out then come running back. There isn't a professional dancer in the world who didn't hate ballet at one point, or even for years, but if dance is in you, the dancer always comes back.

Read more...

Good Heavens, now we're blogging!

And by we, I mean me. I'm not British.. Although I do at times refer to my ballet school as we. I sometimes say we are going to do this....when really I mean me, I specifically am going to do this.... because I am the one running the show, after all. And I am the one writing this blog, so really what I mean to say is, good heavens now I'm blogging!

Ballet and talking don't really go together. Ballet, being an art steeped in tradition, one of which being true old school teaching where the teacher speaks and the student only listens, likes quite a lot to retain it's history. One of the ways it does so is through it's teaching which instills respect, discipline, and quite often silence.

Ballet and writing are rumored to go together just as well, as the ballet world likes to retain it's secrets. I suppose everyone likes a little mystery, to leave something to the imagination. And ballet itself is rooted in the ethereal, greater than real life- so to spill the secrets is to spoil that illusion. Oh, sorry I mean that reality.

Of course it makes sense that speech is not encouraged, as ballet is an art of movement and music- not speech. It is about the story that can be told by the heart, the imagination, and the spirit, rather than the mouth, as these things often show themselves in speechless ways.

All that being said, I was never very good at keeping my mouth shut. In ballet class I learned to keep it shut and be obedient. But, I could never quite learn to keep my eyes from giving away everything I was thinking. I was often known as well for my technique as I was for not only finding fault with how ballet was being taught, but voicing my dissatisfaction. I didn't agree with how things were done. Didn't agree with the horrendous injuries that I and my peers were supposed to just accept as part of being a dancer, and didn't agree that 'there's nothing you can do'.

And lookit me now! Running a ballet school that flies in the face of tradition as well as what everyone else is doing currently. Of course, things are different now than when I was a student. However, not that different. If that were the case, I wouldn't have needed to open my own ballet school.

It's not easy to be the first person on the block to make a major change. Hard to say hey, I'm doing this even if I'm the only one doing it. Seeing everyone walking in one direction, and stopping and walking the opposite way. People like being second. Being second is safe. It's easy to do something once someone else has done it first and broken a path for you.

Well, that's about it. In closing I'd like to say I have a big mouth, and I happen to like being first. I also write a lot. Shame on me.

Read more...